Bergman's Bruisers

A Look Into My Life Of Raising Three Rough
And Tumbly Boys

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

See Ya Later...

I couldn't resist these mother/son matching shirts.  A toddler is probably the only acceptable age to wear a coordinating shirt with your Momma.  I couldn't let this opportunity pass us by!

"See ya later alligator!"

 "In a while crocodile."

I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always,  
As long as I am living my baby you will be.  

Friday, February 14, 2014

Valentine Love, Er, Maybe Not

Harrison came home with a Valentine card for me.  I was thrilled to read a hand-written card from my oldest son telling me what a great Mom I am.  My excitement quickly fizzled as I read the words that only my Harrison could write.....

.....You are a good mom but you can be really mean.... So....I do like you cooking too, your food is great though a little bad.... Also I like when you come back from work, it's really fun when you come in our house (well except when you make us do school work.) 

So, to summarize, I'm mean, can barely cook, and make my kids do too much school work.  
Happy Valentines to me! 

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

I Have A Plan

Harrison was asked to draw what he wanted to be when he grows up.  His teacher also had all the kids say how they were going to reach that goal.  I thought Harrison's idea of what a builder looks like is pretty funny.  In his eyes a builder is a manly-man, complete with a handle-bar mustache, big boots, hat turned around, and protective eye wear--safety first!

Harrison's plan for reaching his goal:

I want to be a builder because I get money and my plan is to go in high school, pass college, and pass building school.  Sometimes I'd like to build stuff.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

The Ultimate Punishment

This is often how the ruling of a punishment goes down in our house:

Steve- Gavin, you left the backyard without permission, left the gate open, and was found playing in the neighbor's driveway three houses down.  This is not okay.  You know better.  Your mom and I have to discuss what your punishment will be.

Me- I think maybe a week without t.v.

Gavin- yeah, okay, I guess I deserve that.

Steve- Or maybe a week without video games.

Gavin- Come on!

Me- Better yet, for the next month I get to pick out your school clothes.  No arguing, no negotiating.  You have to wear what I lay out.

Gavin-  Cue the tears with rapid fire words: NONONONONONONONONO! Anything but that!!  You'll make me look stupid!!

It is in this instant that Steve and I make eye contact and mentally agree we have reached a good punishment.  I don't know how long it will be before our kids realize that our Rolodex of punishments are pilfered through until we come upon the one that really squeezes them. We know we have found the right squeeze when we get a reaction like this one.  It's a challenge to find what makes each child tick.  What makes each child bend or truly suffer the consequences of their bad choices.  Our best dip-stick is their reaction to punishment options.

So, Gavin's punishment did end up being me picking out his clothes for a month.  This is not a punishment because I'm terrible at picking out clothes  that I would intentionally dress him to look 'stupid.'  It's a punishment only to Gavin because he takes such pride in how he looks and to take away his privilege of choice was the ultimate consequence.

Here's a sample of a few outfits during his sentence:

Not bad, right?!  With so many hand-me-downs from Harrison, Evan, Ian, and Garrett his clothes options are endless!  I really, really enjoyed putting together outfits knowing he couldn't argue, fuss, or fight.  I hardly knew what to do with the extra five hours a week I gained from not having clothes wars!

Almost makes me look forward to when he makes a bad choice.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, January 10, 2014

I'm Thankful

    Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to be thankful.  I'm most thankful for God, Jesus, and games.  I'm thankful God because he made the wole wide world.  Without God we woldn't live.  Also he is the king of the world.  God is inporint because he has lived for 2013 years.  Mostly every body belive in God.  God is real if you belive in him.

   That's one thing that I'm thankful for.  Jesus is porerful to take out evil spirits.  Also Jesus is the son of God that is imporent.  Jesus is imporent in many ways.

    Games are somtething I cold't live with out.  Mostly games are something are fun and exsided to.  Games are also active.  Minecraft is a very fun game to.  Games are at a park to and they are playful.  Any game can be awsome like tag for example.  Some games teach you a lot by dancing.  You know everybody likes video games because they are fun and funny because you dance, do funky moves and by being active and they tell jokes.  

   I like Thanksgiving.  I'm also thankful for God, Jesus, and games.  

Harrison Bergman
November, 2013

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Only The Third Child

We are surprised daily with the words and phrases that come out of Cannon's mouth.  The things he says and does is largely due to his birth order.  He has two older brothers that supply him with endless inappropriate behavior for a two-year-old.  I've recently had to sit all the boys down and have a family intervention!  Cannon is getting in trouble at preschool due to his rough demeanor.  We, as a family, are working on using kinder words, kinder touch, and saying sorry with hugs more often. Before a total transformation (which I just know is going to happen any day now!)  I thought I'd capture a few of these less than desirable phrases. 


"I didn't do it!  Gavin did it!"


"Hey Fartface!"


"I never get the iPad!"


Cannon's favorite impersonation


"What the heck, Mom!"


"Don't look at me!"

What am I going to do with this boy?!

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Struggle Is Good

After Christmas as we were driving back from Ohio, with the kids all asleep in the backseat, Steve and I recapped on our trip.  The conversation turned into a lot of me complaining about the kids. 

"Can you believe Harrison fussed on Christmas day?!"

"Did you hear what Gavin said to so-and-so?"

"Cannon was so mean to Henry!  He tried to choke him!"

On and on I went, and although Steve chimed in also, it was definitely more me fussing than him.

After a pause he said, "I know our kids can be bad, but they're just kids, and, man, I love the crap outta them."  

Why do I forget that so often? They are just kids.

I remember as a kid the stupid things I said and did.  I remember the impact it had when an adult or peer scolded or corrected me.  It took those struggles to learn the dos and don'ts of life.

In the fifth grade I went up against another girl for a part in the school play.  I just knew I was a much better fit for the role of Aphrodite.  I did end up getting picked and as I walked back into the classroom I walked up to her, pointed my finger, and said, "Ha! In your face!"  She immediately started crying and ran out of class.  I was eleven years old!  Eleven!  I should have known better.  It took that experience, that struggle, to know I never wanted to make someone feel like that again.  That's not to say, since then, I've never hurt anyone's feelings, but, it certainly has never been intentionally like it was that day.

Or in the third grade when I tricked my friend into combining our Halloween candy and keeping it at my house.  I selfishly knew that keeping it at my house allowed me to have full access to her goods.  I was stealing!  

Or my aunt's wedding, age six, I was the flower girl who refused to smile in any pictures.  Her pictures are beautiful-- minus a bratty flower girl scowling in the front row. I don't remember why I was mad, but I was six, so in that moment all that mattered to me was me and how I felt.  It took me probably into my late teens to learn that I'm not the most important person. I'm really sorry about that one, Aunt Pat.

In the second grade I was irritated by a girl who was clearly the best drawer in our class and told her she was terrible at drawing.  I hated art, even then, and was so frustrated that this girl came by it so easily.  The other girls were then mean to me because I was mean to her.  That was a struggle to learn to art of group friendships. 

I could go on and on.

Why do I feel the need to spare my kids those struggles?  Those struggles are what helped make me into who I am.  I can't expect them to be adults when they aren't. I have to be the adult and learn to work through my embarrassment of seeing them behave that way and know they are kids learning through their own struggles. 

Struggle is Good!   I Want to Fly!

Once a little boy was playing outdoors and found a fascinating caterpillar. He carefully picked it up and took it home to show his mother. He asked his mother if he could keep it, and she said he could if he would take good care of it.

The little boy got a large jar from his mother and put plants to eat, and a stick to climb on, in the jar. Every day he watched the caterpillar and brought it new plants to eat.

One day the caterpillar climbed up the stick and started acting strangely. The boy worriedly called his mother who came and understood that the caterpillar was creating a cocoon. The mother explained to the boy how the caterpillar was going to go through a metamorphosis and become a butterfly.

The little boy was thrilled to hear about the changes his caterpillar would go through. He watched every day, waiting for the butterfly to emerge. One day it happened, a small hole appeared in the cocoon and the butterfly started to struggle to come out.

At first the boy was excited, but soon he became concerned. The butterfly was struggling so hard to get out! It looked like it couldn’t break free! It looked desperate! It looked like it was making no progress!

The boy was so concerned he decided to help. He ran to get scissors, and then walked back (because he had learned not to run with scissors…). He snipped the cocoon to make the hole bigger and the butterfly quickly emerged!

As the butterfly came out the boy was surprised. It had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. He continued to watch the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would dry out, enlarge and expand to support the swollen body. He knew that in time the body would shrink and the butterfly’s wings would expand.

            But neither happened!

The butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

It never was able to fly…

As the boy tried to figure out what had gone wrong his mother took him to talk to a scientist from a local college. He learned that the butterfly was SUPPOSED to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly. The boy’s good intentions hurt the butterfly.

As you go through school, and life, keep in mind that struggling is an important part of any growth experience. In fact, it is the struggle that causes you to develop your ability to fly.

As parents our gift to our children is stronger wings…